


All The Ways

by talistheintrovert



Series: Knocking On Heaven's Door [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bellarke, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-21
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2019-04-25 15:57:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14382024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/talistheintrovert/pseuds/talistheintrovert
Summary: A series of one-shots based on the various ramblings and ideas I had about the many ways the Bellarke reunion would happen.All of them are different, with different levels of angst and fluff, depending on what mood I was in when writing them, but I just needed to get the ideas out before the premiere.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, I’ve spent a lot of time over the last few weeks just imagining what kind of reunion Bellamy and Clarke are going to have. The problem is, that I had so many ideas that I couldn’t think of just one to write. SO INSTEAD, HERE IS A SERIES OF ONE SHOTS, OF ALL THE POSSIBLE WAYS I WOULD LIKE IT TO HAPPEN.
> 
> 1\. Bellamy is the last to know OR: The one with all the hugs.

# CRAZY TO BELIEVE IN SILLY THINGS

_I remember it now, it takes me back to when it all first started_  
But I've only got myself to blame for it, and I accept that now  
It's time to let it go, go out and start again  
But it's not that easy (that easy that easy)

_High hopes, when you let it go, go out and start again_  
High hopes, ooh when it all comes to an end  
But the world keeps spinning around  
**HIGH HOPES - KODALINE**

Clarke had been sneaking away from Eligius when she saw them. She’d sent Madi away to one of their rendezvous, knowing that she’d much rather be caught than see Madi trapped with her, but she was staying close, spying on the soldiers where the ship had made camp. It was only when she couldn’t quite make out the faces of the people closest that she noticed just how dark it was getting. She had glanced up at the sky, seeing the sun dipping lazily below the tree line, and decided to return to one of her camps. 

She was almost there, ducking and weaving through the underbrush, when she heard voices up ahead. Clarke tilted her head, surprised; she had been certain none of the men had gone this way. She stayed low and forged ahead, trying to find the source of the noise. 

“Forget it Murphy, we’re never gonna get anywhere in the dark.” 

“Oh, I’m sorry Raven, did you forget that there’s fruit down here?”

For a moment, Clarke thought she had finally snapped – that her brain could no longer handle the stress of everything that had happened – and it was then that she saw a warm glow ahead: the glow of a fire. She took a breath and moved closer, and when the voices continued, they were louder. 

“No, but you’re never gonna find any in the dark, Murphy. Besides, we don’t know if any of it even survived. It could be radioactive.”

“Even if I die of radiation poisoning, it’s gotta be better than Monty’s algae. No offence, Monty.”

“Oh, none taken. I strongly considered starvation as an option after a while.” Monty’s voice uttered back, a smile clearly etched into it. Clarke could hear Harper’s giggle, and Murphy’s friendly scoff.

“I think I liked it better when you two hated each other,” Raven said, trying to sound annoyed and failing miserably. Now Emori’s low chuckle could be heard among the others too. There was the sound of shuffling, and Clarke moved yet closer, almost within the glow of their fire, almost able to see them, almost... 

If she just moved two feet more…

Something was moving toward her, and Clarke straightened slightly. 

“I’m going to find some fruit, I don’t care how dark it–” Murphy stopped dead in his tracks, torch illuminating the woman in front of him, and she could see his face behind the glow, eyes wide. 

“Hey Murphy,” she breathed, and Murphy dropped the torch. 

“Clarke?!” He gasped, and she could hear movement behind him.

“Murphy tell me you didn’t eat hallucinogenic berries, because I cannot deal with you normally, and I do not want to deal with you high,” Monty said, his voice getting closer.

“Oh my god, you’re alive?!” Murphy jumped forward as Clarke did the same, and they gripped each other in a tight hug. Murphy’s arms were wrapped around her shoulders, and her hands gripped his ribs as she tucked her face into his neck, trying not to cry. She never thought it would be Murphy she’d see first, Murphy who’d remind her of how much she’d lost, but here she was, falling apart in her friend’s arms. A friend she had become convinced she would never see again. 

She could hear Monty grumbling something dismissive, but when he stopped mid-sentence she knew he could see her. “Raven! Harper! Emori! Get over here!” 

“I swear if Murphy’s injured himself, I’m never letting him forget it,” Raven muttered, and then she saw a flash of blonde by Murphy’s shoulder, “No.”

“Oh my god,” Harper clapped a hand to her mouth.

“There’s no fucking way,” Emori stuttered at the same time, but none of them could deny it when Clarke straightened to face them all. 

“Clarke?” Monty whispered, and she turned her teary smile towards him.

“Monty… I’ve missed you so much,” and then she was hugging him and he was hugging her back, and Harper was behind her, making the hug into a sandwich. “I’d say I hope you’ve been taking care of Harper, but I’m sure it’s the other way around.”

“Damn straight,” Harper’s voice was muffled through Clarke’s hair, but Monty still heard, and he smacked her lovingly on the shoulder as Clarke laughed. 

When they let her go she barely had time to get her bearings before Emori had jumped at her, arms wrapping around her neck. She staggered slightly, but reciprocated, amazed that the girl was so enthusiastic to see her. Eventually, Murphy gently separated them, but Clarke didn’t miss the tears in Emori’s eyes as he did. 

Finally, she found Raven’s startled face, standing the furthest from her, still basking in the light of the fire. They were frozen that way for a moment, until Raven crossed her arms defiantly, “You really scared everyone, you know that? We all thought you were dead… they all missed you.”

“They? Not you?” Clarke teased, but Raven looked in no mood to take it.

“Why would I, Clarke? Who’s gonna miss someone like you: you’re stubborn and frustrating, and you’re constantly on some moral high horse. You slept with my boyfriend, and then killed him. You accused me of trying to kill Lexa. You were experimenting on people before the death wave. And you expect me to forget all that just because you were willing to die for us? I’m not that soft. It takes a lot more than that for me to miss someone.”

“Like what?” Clarke asked softly, knowing there was a point to Raven’s angry rant.

“Like the kind of person who would inject herself to keep Emori safe, or who wouldn’t stay in the bunker without me. The kind of person who kills the man she loves because she can’t stand the idea of him in pain. The kind of person who listens to every perspective before she makes a decision. The person who believed I could get us to space even when I couldn’t. The person who makes all the hard decisions the rest of us can’t. I’d miss her. I’d miss her every day. I’d miss her so much it would tear me apart for leaving her behind.”

“You didn’t leave me behind, I chose to stay. If I hadn’t, you all would have died.”

“There you go again, Clarke, sitting on that sacrificial high horse,” Raven bit sharply, but there was no real rage behind it, only heartbreak, and when Clarke reached out to her, she collapsed into her shoulder. She sobbed while Clarke held her as though she’d never let go, “Don’t ever die on me again.”

Clarke chuckled, “I’ll try not to.”

“Trying’s got nothing to do with it – don’t you dare hurt me like that again Clarke.” Raven sniffled.

Murphy suddenly clapped them both on the shoulder, “Oh my god, Bellamy’s going to lose his MIND.”

All of them laughed as the last of the sun’s rays disappeared, and the fire became the only source of light for miles, flickering across the faces of the Commander of Death and five of the people she thought she’d lost forever. 

* * *

Hours later, as the last embers were dying, they were all curled up close to it, sharing stories of their time apart. 

“So, of course, Emori decided she couldn’t take it anymore and broke up the fight herself,” Raven leaned back against a log, grinning. 

Clarke looked over at Emori questioningly, but it was Murphy who answered, “She yanked me away from him and started kissing me. It didn’t take long for me to forget what the fight was about.” He looked sheepishly over at Monty, but he was laughing just as hard as everyone else.

“After that, every time he picked a fight, I would just give Emori the signal. Things went smoothly as far as Murphy was concerned after that.” Monty shrugged. 

Murphy slipped his hand into Emori’s, and she looked up at him adoringly. Clarke’s heart ached for them: ached to have seen them over the last six years, but the smile never fell from her face. 

“Madi and I found strawberries, and we argued for days about whether we could eat them or not, y’know, worried they might be dangerous. We decided–”

“You mean you decided?” Murphy interrupted, smirking.

“Yeah, I decided, that it would be safer to just leave them alone,” Clarke continued, and her friends shared a knowing look – they had all been on the receiving end of Clarke’s motherly concern, “Anyway, the next morning I woke up, and the berries were gone. I spent the next two days fussing over Madi, making sure she wasn’t sick, until eventually she admitted that she hadn’t actually eaten them. She’d been feeding them to this bird that had been hanging around the camp, and she was willing to let me think she’d poisoned herself rather than admit she’d acquired a pet.”  
Her friends fell about laughing, and Monty fell off his log, giggling even harder once he hit the floor. 

“I can’t say I blame her Clarke, you’re a scary mom,” Raven admitted.

“How would you know?” Clarke looked confused and everyone laughed harder. 

“You let me talk to you about Baylis, even though we weren’t really even friends,” Emori pointed out.

“You’re constantly patching us up,” Monty joined in.

“And scolding us for getting injured in the first place,” Harper agreed.

“You constantly put everyone else before yourself,” Raven added.

“And you and Dad disagree on everything but you love each other anyway,” Murphy chimed in, and the giggling subsided somewhat as they all shared a look. 

Clarke leaned forward slightly, “How is Bellamy? Don’t think I haven’t noticed that none of you are willing to tell me about him.”

Raven opened her mouth, thought better of it, and sat back, hoping someone else would jump in.

“He’s fine,” Murphy reassured her.

She raised an eyebrow at him, “What aren’t you saying?”

“Bellamy… when you died, Bellamy blamed himself. He tortured himself about it for months, years even. I’m not sure he ever really let go of the guilt, despite us reminding him that it’s what you would have wanted. When we returned to the ground, I think it was all a little much – everything reminded him of you.” Raven said quietly.

“And when he had to tell Abby that you weren’t on the ship…” Harper trailed off, knowing from the look on Clarke’s face that she didn’t need to finish. 

“He’s okay, Octavia and Echo are keeping him busy building and hunting, he’s just…” Raven stared pointedly at the floor, “He just misses you.”

There was a long silence while Clarke rubbed her forehead, unsure how to process that information. Monty reached across and gripped her spare hand with both of his own, and she tried to look grateful for his concern, but all she felt was worry, and guilt, over Bellamy. 

Eventually, the silence got too much for Murphy, and he couldn’t help himself, “He’s grown a beard now. Like Kane’s. He’s a proper Space-Dad.” 

Clarke snorted, the laugh somehow opening the floodgates for her tears, and they started rolling down her cheeks even as she closed her eyes. Monty squeezed her hand, and she felt someone else’s on her back. More fingers wrapped around Monty’s joined ones, and when she opened her eyes, Harper was crouching beside him. It was Emori’s hand she could feel on her back, and Murphy reached for her knee, while she leaned on Raven’s shoulder, sniffling slightly. 

“I just… I missed you.” Clarke murmured, “All of you. I was so alone down here and… all I could think about is that I would do anything to see you all again. You’ve all changed – I’m sure for the better – but it’s just a tiny bit different. Murphy and Monty get along, and Emori laughs at Raven’s mean comments to Murphy, and I just don’t know where I fit anymore. What if Bellamy resents me? What if I don’t recognise him? It’s been so long.” 

She couldn’t continue, sobs wracking her body, and Raven grimaced, “First of all, you’re always going to fit with me, I don’t care about the rest of these clowns.”

“Hey!” Monty said, but there was no bite to it. 

“Second of all, Bellamy could never resent you, especially not for saving us,” Raven said disapprovingly, as though the very idea of it left a bad taste in her mouth, “And thirdly, you will recognise him, he’ll just take a minute to believe that you’re real.” 

Clarke nodded, and when they all fell asleep, wrapped up in each other beneath a tarp as the fire went out, she felt a small part of herself melt. Something she hadn’t let herself feel in years was suddenly thawing within her, and she didn’t know how to react.

She felt as though she were a part of something again. 

* * *

They had been walking since first light, and the sun was directly above them, bearing down upon them in all its sweat-causing glory. No-one was talking anymore, the conversation having died out two hours in, when the heat began to suffocate everyone’s ability to carry a conversation. Lunch consisted of dried meat passed around in silence, and Clarke resisted the urge to ask, how much longer?

When they finally stumbled on the huts around the bunker, Clarke was amazed. She had been there not a month previously to check on them, but there had been no stirrings from below. Now, there was a veritable village surrounding the mouth of the bunker. People were bustling around, chatting and bartering as though they had always lived that way. She swallowed her fears of Eligius discovering them, but it did little to assuage her fear of seeing Bellamy again. However, it wasn’t that Blake that noticed her first. 

Octavia was walking with Indra along the border, showing her sentries different tactics for gun defence, when she saw the group returning, and who was in the middle. She smacked Indra, who glanced up and then immediately turned and ran back toward the bunker. 

They reached Octavia before she could move closer, and she beamed at Clarke, who grabbed her in a hug and whispered, “I’m glad you’re okay.”

“I can’t believe you’re alive,” Octavia responded archly, tightening the hug, and Clarke laughed.

“You’re not the only one,” she remarked, but didn’t manage to elaborate because she was almost bowled over by a flash of mousy blonde. 

She stumbled into Murphy, who held her up as she realised it was Abby Griffin who’d attacked her. When Abby righted them both, they stared at each other, beaming, as Kane and Indra walked slowly up behind them, “I can’t believe… Bellamy told us… I just cannot believe… How on Earth did you survive!?”

“Night-blood, Mom. It worked – you were right.”

“We thought you were dead,” Abby sobbed, covering her mouth with her hands.

“I know, Mom, but it’s okay, I’m here. I’m here and I’m alive.”

“It is good to see you, Clarke,” Indra smiled and clapped her on the shoulder.

Kane pulled her into his arms, resting his chin on her head, “We all missed you so much, Clarke. So much.” 

She swallowed, ignoring the urge to cry, and he released her, letting Abby look her over. Abby seemed to be checking for injuries, but Clarke had the feeling she was checking that Clarke was real, that she was truly standing there, and she didn’t blame her. She felt as though the last few hours had been a dream; in the moments when she finally gave up hope, she’d found her family again. 

“Where’s Bellamy?” She asked, glancing around, and Octavia and Kane shared a look, which did not go unnoticed, “What does that mean? Why does everyone keep reacting like he’s sick or something?”

Octavia raised an eyebrow at the others, “You didn’t tell her?”

“Well, we kinda tried, but it… I don’t know, we chickened out,” Monty stuttered out.

“What? What are you worried about?” Clarke asked, frustrated.

“He dreamt about you on the ship, Clarke.” Raven sighed, “Horrible nightmares, which turned into hallucinations where he’d wake up and see you standing over him, covered in burns from the death wave, telling him it was all his fault. But he hadn’t had any for a few years.”

“And then when they arrived back on the planet, he sort of… saw you again.” Octavia said, “He had a minor meltdown, and he kept just staring off at this patch of wood, yelling, ‘I’m sorry! I had to!’ and eventually Abby sedated him. He’s been fine since, but he was really freaked out.”

Clarke understood better than anyone what that was like; when she’d seen Finn in the woods, the only thing that had reminded her that he wasn’t real was Bellamy approaching her, making sure she was alright. The only difference here was that she was alive. And suddenly it clicked.

“That’s why you’re all so worried. You’re scared he’s going to think I’m another hallucination and snap.” She worried her lip, unsure what to do, and Abby stroked her shoulder, trying to reassure her. They didn’t have any time to make a decision, however, because someone shouted from behind Octavia, and then Echo was coming into view over the hill.

Echo was carrying a fox and looking pleased with herself. She handed it off to someone standing by what looked like a firepit, and headed towards the group, “I didn’t know you guys were coming back today!”

“We weren’t,” Murphy stepped forward, “We found something interesting in the woods.”

“What’s that, Murphy?” Bellamy’s voice said, as he strode into view, carrying an odd-looking boar over his shoulders. He threw it down beside Echo’s fox, and followed her to the group, grinning at his friend. 

Clarke stepped out from behind him, and Echo’s mouth dropped open faster than Murphy had dropped his torch. Bellamy froze in his tracks. He stood, five feet from her, and stared, unable to process the fact that she was there. She was right there, in front of him. She shuffled a little closer, and he pulled back warily. Echo snapped out of her surprise long enough to grip Clarke’s hand and elbow, and say something about being glad to see her, but Clarke barely registered it. When Echo joined everyone behind her and suggested they give the two of them some privacy, Clarke didn’t hear it. She was too busy taking him it. 

Murphy wasn’t wrong about the beard: it covered his face, and all she wanted to do was drink in every inch of his features and commit them more permanently to memory. Despite this, she found herself liking it, and she wanted to pick up a sketchbook and draw both versions, so she’d never worry about forgetting him again. She’d drawn him so much in the year after Praimfaya, willing herself to remember even the tiniest details about his face, trying so desperately not to forget a single atom of his existence. Of course he had faded slightly in her mind, but now that he was standing in front of her, all those details came flooding relentlessly back. 

The way his eyes crinkled slightly in the corners, betraying his sadness when the rest of his face was so composed. The way his dark hair curled messily about his ears, drifting past his eyebrows, in danger of obscuring his vision. The clench in his jaw as he surveyed her, the clench she had been unable to replicate in her sketches but had never quite forgotten. It was tucked beneath his beard now, but she still felt she could make it out. The constellations of freckles on his skin, constellations she’d tried to remember in exact formations, not wanting to miss a single one, but knowing she would. 

She’d spent so long cursing herself for not taking the time to lock Bellamy’s face into her mind; for not paying enough attention when it was so close, and only realising how little she’d truly remember once he was out of reach. 

Bellamy’s own eyes were raking over her face, seemingly doing the same, darting across her forehead, between each eye, down to her lips, her chin, and back up again, over and over. His mouth was slightly open, and his brow furrowed in disbelief.

She took another step forward, and this time, he stayed where he was, “Bellamy?”

He closed his eyes, and she dissolved the distance between them, standing directly in front of him, itching to reach out and touch him. He shook his head, eyes squeezed shut, “I never thought I’d hear your voice again.”

“Bellamy, I’m here. I’m alive, and I’m right here.”

He started slightly, to hear her so close, but he didn’t move a muscle in her direction, “I was going crazy without you, Clarke. I started to panic that I was forgetting you – forgetting your face, or your voice. But then, you’re standing there, and you look exactly the way you’re supposed to look. You look like Clarke. Not the version of Clarke that lives in my nightmares, or even the version of Clarke in my memories. You’re just… Clarke.”

She reached out and placed her hands on his chest, and his eyes flew open, staring down at her I amazement. He tentatively stretched his own hands out and cupped her face, trailing his fingers through her hair. 

“I cut it,” she murmured, unsure what to say.

“I like it,” Bellamy said, eyes capturing hers earnestly.

“I like your beard,” she said in response, leaning closer, “I tried to picture you with a beard, and it never looked quite right. But this…”

She touched his chin, and he smiled.

They stood that way for a long moment, just enjoying the feeling of each other against their skin, revelling in the close proximity they’d missed for six years. 

“Say something else,” Bellamy asked.

“Like what?” Clarke asked, bemused.

“Anything, I just… I just want to hear your voice.” He pleaded, and she smiled, trailing a finger across his jaw. 

“It’s not your fault. I was never going to make it back in time. And I had night-blood. If anyone else had stayed behind, they would have died,” she said, almost scolding. 

He grimaced, “How about anything except that?”

She chuckled, “I have a daughter. She’s a night-blood I adopted a year after Praimfaya. Madi. She’s amazing. She reminds me a lot of you – she brave and reckless and curious, and she’s all heart.”

“As long as you’re teaching her to be more like you than me, she’ll be fine,” Bellamy grinned.

She smacked his chest lightly, “I happen to like you.”

“Are you kidding me? I’m useless. I’m reckless and hot-headed. Whenever I actually have to make a decision I always make the wrong one. I’ve spent the last six years just asking myself, what would Clarke do?” He shot back, and she laughed and stumbled back a little. She didn’t even notice as his hands left her cheeks so his arms could encircle her waist to keep her close. She was too busy eyeing the blush on his cheeks that had sprung up when she’d told him she liked him. 

“Well, we need each other, Bellamy,” Clarke said, but before she had time to finish that sentiment, Bellamy had closed the tiny distance between them and crashed his lips to hers. For a moment, she forgot what it felt like to breathe, and everything felt like it was too much. Then her arms were flinging around his neck, and he was holding her flush to his body, every inch of them touching. She gripped his curls and he broke the kiss, pressing his forehead to hers. 

She could dimly hear the sound of cheering behind them, but she was loath to turn around. If she acknowledged her family standing there, this moment would end, and more than anything, she wanted this moment to go on forever. They stood together, ragged breaths intertwining between them, and Clarke brushed her nose across his cheek. 

“I was so lost without you, Clarke,” Bellamy breathed, his lips ghosting hers, “I’ve spent years going over every conversation we ever had, every argument, trying to find one where I told you just how important you were. You deserved to hear it, and I never told you, I never told you how much I…” He trailed away, his eyes searching hers, unsure how to proceed, not wanting to say anything that could ruin this. 

“You didn’t need to tell me, Bellamy,” Clarke murmured, “It never mattered. We didn’t need to say anything – we were too busy trying to die for each other.”

Bellamy chuckled, deep and low, and she felt it rumbling through his chest into hers. She sighed, and yanked his head back down, enveloping his lips with hers, kissing him passionately. She could hear the cheering start up again, closer now, and then they were swallowed by their friends, everyone gripping them in one huge bear hug. There were hands on her shoulders, her neck, her head, her back, but all she could focus on were the warm arms around her waist, holding her up. 

When the kiss ended, Octavia smacked Bellamy in the back of the head, “It’s about damn time.”

Everyone laughed, and Clarke blushed. Bellamy grimaced and buried his head into the crook of her neck, trying to hide. 

“We were taking bets,” Miller’s voice was behind her, but Clarke didn’t want to turn her head. She was too busy pretending not to notice that Bellamy was kissing her collarbone softly. 

“Yeah, six years ago!” Abby laughed, “Does anyone even remember their bets anymore?”

“Is that a trick question? Of course I do. I bet Clarke would make the first move,” Murphy said, and Bellamy reached blindly outwards and punched him in the arm. 

“I bet that they would fall on top of each other one day, and it would just happen,” Monty rolled his eyes playfully at Clarke and she pursed her lips against the laugh that was threatening to overtake her. 

“I bet that they would never tell each other and that they’d both just keep living in repressed silence until one or both of them died,” Raven said, and Bellamy straightened up to give her an irritated look over Clarke’s shoulder. Raven shrugged, “I actually thought I’d won, I was thinking of collecting my money sometime this week.”

“Well I knew they’d get there someday,” Kane observed quietly, a smile etched on his face as he looked with pride at his two children. 

“So did I,” Abby agreed, and everyone slowly pulled away, moving back to their stations. Miller waved and gave Bellamy a looked that indicated he was definitely going to chew him out later. Abby and Kane sidled away, arm in arm, and Raven dragged Echo off with Octavia and Indra. 

“You know he’s been in love with you since like, two weeks after we landed, right? Sometime between saving you from that pit and you falling for Finn. He didn’t admit it to himself for a long time but trust me – he’s loved you for almost as long as he’s know you,” Murphy pointed out and Clarke’s eyes widened. 

“I hate you,” Bellamy growled at him and he grinned wolfishly.

“No you don’t,” He looped his arm around Emori’s waist and followed the last of them back towards the bunker. 

“So…” Clarke said, eyes boring into his, “You’re in love with me, huh?”

Bellamy swallowed, but said nothing.

“I told you, you don’t have to say anything, Bellamy. I know. I… I love you, Bellamy… so much,” Clarke said, the first time in her life that she’d ever said it first, and he knew it. 

When he yanked her in for another kiss, she could almost forget about the danger they were in, or the panic she’d felt just hours earlier – right now there was only this. 

This moment, and nothing else.


	2. The Pull Of Your Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If Bellamy saw Clarke first, while sneaking around avoiding Eligius.

# THE PULL OF YOUR HEART

_I miss the sound of your voice_  
And I miss the rush of your skin  
And I miss the still of the silence  
As you breathe out and I breathe in 

_If I could walk on water_  
If I could tell you what's next  
I'd make you believe  
I'd make you forget  
**COME ON GET HIGHER – MATT NATHANSON**

Bellamy saw her before she saw him, creeping through the forest. He had blinked, almost comically double-taking, when he first glimpsed her hair through the trees. He knew what he had seen though, and moved closer, trying to find her again.

He peered around the tree he was ducking behind, and saw her crouched down by the river, humming softly to herself. Her hair was shorter now, hanging in lazy curls about her shoulders, but it was definitely Clarke. There were red streaks in her hair, and her outfit looked like it had been cobbled together from scrap, and he found himself liking it immensely. She was uninjured, and her skin was its usual shade of pale, not dangerously so. He couldn’t see her face fully, and he longed to catch her eyes in his gaze.

He watched her for a moment; watched her fill up containers and splash water at her hair, running her fingers through it absentmindedly. He was enraptured, unable to tear his eyes from her as she sighed and lay down against the bank, staring at the sky. He was about to move closer and reveal himself, when he heard someone else moving through the forest. 

“Madi, what did I say?” Clarke grumbled, and Bellamy’s heart ached at the sound of her voice.

A small girl came into view, with dark hair and wild eyes, a concerned expression on her face. She carried herself as though she were older than she was, and there was a twitch to her fingers that only came from a need to reach for a weapon. She reminded him of Octavia, but the concerned expression was all Clarke's influence – he’d seen it too many times to count.

“You said I had to stay back at the house,” Madi sat down next to her and sniffled slightly, “But I can’t stay there. There are men there.”

“What?! What are you talking about?” Clarke said sharply, sitting up and reaching for Madi’s hand. 

“They found it, just like they found the other one.” Madi whispered, and Clarke pulled her into a hug, “What if they find us wherever we go? What are we supposed to do?”

“We’ll figure it out Madi, I swear. I’m not gonna let anything happen to you,” Clarke murmured. 

“But what if something happens to you?” Madi sounded frightened, and on the verge of tears.

Bellamy straightened and moved into the small clearing and down the bank, “Nothing’s happening to her, because I’m never letting her out of my sight again.” He snapped.

Clarke released Madi and whirled around, half-standing, half-crawling up the bank towards him, “Oh my god, _Bellamy_?”

Hearing her say his name was almost too much, and he stumbled slightly, landing on one knee. Instead of pulling him up, Clarke dropped to the ground in front of him, hovering warily, almost afraid to touch him. 

“Hey Princess,” he muttered, ufocused, but she didn't seem to hear him, so intensely was she staring. He drew his attention up to her face and her wide eyes found his. He remembered her eyes, but somehow the memory paled in comparison, despite how many nights he’d spent dreaming about them. Huge, never-ending pools of blue, pools he felt himself drowning in, even as the light shifted slightly, betraying the shades of green and grey that her eyes sometimes appeared as. No shade could ever beat that glowing blue, however, and Bellamy found himself lost for words.

“You’re on the ground?” Clarke asked, and he nodded, shutting his eyes. 

She reached out and touched his face, and he swallowed, unable to move, “You’re _alive_.”

She stroked her fingers across his cheek and down to the unfamiliar facial hair. He reached up and captured her hand in his but didn’t move it; he just held it, pressing his fingers down into her palm slightly, as if reassuring himself. Her other hand brushed his hair around a little, and he scrunched his face up, willing himself to open his eyes, but so afraid that if he did, it would all be a dream, and he’d be back at camp listening to Raven and Murphy argue. 

“I radio you,” Clarke said softly, “everyday, I turn on the radio and I try and talk to you.”

He grimaced and leaned into her hands, which were now clasped more firmly against his cheeks, “We never heard you. I wish we… I… I can’t… I thought you were _dead_ Clarke. I though you died and that it was my fault, for leaving you behind.”

“I’m not dead, Bellamy, I’m fine,” Clarke’s voice sounded sad, and something akin to concern and pity was mixed into it as well. 

She stroked her hands back and forth across his face and he frowned slightly. She instinctively moved her hands to smooth the frown away, barely thinking about it, but Bellamy’s eyes shot open and he stared at her, something unreadable in his face. 

“You’re alive,” He murmured, finally moving to touch her, one hand fiddling with her hair, and the other resting in the crook of her neck, fingers tracing the line of her collarbone over and over. 

“I’m alive,” she repeated, staring at him earnestly, but he refused to catch her eye, staring only at her hair, or her shoulder. Without any warning, he yanked her forward into a hug and she melted into it, feeling his arms wrap around her tightly, one hand in her hair, tugging it gently. He buried his face into her neck, and she pressed her cheek against his hair, breathing him in for the first time in six years. It felt like she hadn’t been able to breathe since she’d seen him last, and suddenly there was too much air. 

He gripped her tighter, his arm snaking around her waist, and when he started sobbing into her hair, she caressed his back, running her hands up and down in the hopes it would calm him down. His tears were running down her shirt, trickling across her skin, and she tried to talk to him about happier things, tried to remind him she was still alive. That only made him pull her in closer, and she gripped his shoulders, digging her nails in slightly. If it bothered him, he didn’t show it, and she found herself just giving in to the hug and tucking her own face into his neck. They sat there for god knows how long, on their knees in a vice-like embrace, holding on to each other as if they were worried what would happen if they ever let go. 

Something touched Bellamy’s hand on Clarke’s waist, and he flinched, and opened his eyes. He found himself looking down at the girl, Madi, who’d been waiting patiently by the water for their hug to end and had apparently become bored of waiting. 

Madi didn’t say anything, she just pressed her face into Clarke’s back, and folded her arms around her waist, holding Bellamy’s elbows. Clarke shifted away from him slightly, just long enough to turn around a scoop Madi into her arms. Bellamy missed the contact, until she turned around and leaned into him. He sat down and she situated herself between his legs as they both faced the water, her hair trailing across his shoulders. He tried not to notice how she still smelled of Clarke, tried to think about anything other than her back pressed against his chest, and the heartbeat he could feel in her neck when he rested his chin there. He knew he needed to be somewhere, that he had a mission to complete, but Clarke sighed and his mind drifted back to her and how real she was, sitting right there. 

“You’re Bellamy,” Madi said matter-of-factly, looking at him with big, curious eyes. 

He chuckled, “Yeah, kid, I’m Bellamy. You’re Madi, right?”

“Yeah. We’re going to be okay.”

“Yeah, of course we are,” Clarke reassured her, squeezing her tighter.

“No, I mean… Bellamy’s back now – so we’re gonna be okay.”

“I think you did just fine without me,” Bellamy said, and Clarke elbowed him.

“Of course we did, because I’m amazing,” she joked, but he was all seriousness.

“Yeah. You are.” 

He could see the colour in her cheeks, but he didn’t say anything. 

“Did everyone else make it down with you?” Clarke whispered, almost like she had been afraid to ask.

“Oh, I should have known you don’t care that I’m here. You just miss Echo and Murphy, right?” He teased, and she could feel him smiling through her hair. 

“Well, I presume Murphy is still loved up with Emori, so I’m going to have to settle for Echo, right? She’s feisty, in more ways than one, I’m sure.” Clarke shot back, and if he’d been eating anything, he would have choked. As it was, he pressed his nose further into the back of her head to stop from laughing so hard, and she couldn’t help but chuckle back.

“She said you were fun,” Madi said, beaming, and Bellamy ruffled her hair, amused.

“I’m fun, am I?” He asked, directing the question at Clarke.

“Sometimes,” she acknowledged, “usually when alcohol is involved.”

“Likewise, Princess,” he said, smiling, and she groaned.

“Six years and you’re sticking with that nickname?”

“I like it,” Madi said, and Clarke scoffed.

“It suits you. Almost suits you more now.” He said, and she turned her head to shoot him a quizzical look, “You’re like… Princess of Earth – taking care of it, ruling over it, protecting it from harm.”

“So, logically, I’m more like the _Queen_ of Earth,” Clarke pointed out, “and _Madi_ is the Princess.”

“Sure,” he teased, and she pinched his leg. He extricated himself from her and stood, holding out a hand to help her up, “C’mon, Queen Clarke, let’s get you and your princess home.”

“You don’t know where our camp is,” Madi said, confused, but he was looking at Clarke when he answered.

“Ready to come home, Clarke?”

She looked at him, took in the worried look in his eyes and the concern in his stance, and she smiled, “I’ve been waiting six years to hear you say that, Bellamy Blake.”

He took a small step back, surprised, and then cleared his throat, trying to appear unfazed. 

“C’mon then. Echo’s waiting,” he turned and grabbed his stuff, and she laughed as they followed, a laugh that she felt in her whole body. They might be in danger, more than she’d seen in years, but her family was home, and she could brave the storm with them all by her side. 

“I hope she’s wearing something pretty,” Clarke joked back and he snorted as she fell into step beside him, Madi on her other side, walking in stride like nothing had happened, like they’d never been separated. He glanced at her, and she knew he was thinking the same, but neither of them spoke while they walked, just enjoyed each other’s company through the forest. The sun was drifting down towards the horizon, but Bellamy knew they’d be at the ship long before it ever passed the ground. 

He looked over at Clarke, at the face that had haunted his dreams and nightmares and memories for so long, and for the first time in a long time, when he looked at it, he felt nothing but peace. 

She caught his eye, “What are you looking at there, Bellamy?”

“ _Everything_ ,” he murmured, and she stiffened slightly beside him, dropping her gaze to look straight ahead. He reached out and clutched her fingers for a moment before he relinquished them, and then, almost inaudibly, “I missed you.”

Her freed hand chased his, and when she interlaced their fingers, he felt the tension in his shoulders release.

“I missed you too, Bellamy,” she breathed, “more than you can imagine.”

He grimaced, “Trust me, I can imagine it.”

Her hand was warm in his, and he realised that he’d never done anything like this with Clarke before: just holding her hand without the intense fear of death on their heels. He was worried that when she came to the same conclusion, she would pull away again, but she didn’t, and he involuntarily clasped it a little tighter. He looked at her a moment, worried, but she just smiled and kept walking.

If he could, he’d hold her hand like this forever, just walk with her for eternity, but neither of them had luck that good. So instead he resolved to just enjoy the moment as it happened, to take in everything he possibly could before it had to be over. One day soon, he would tell her just how much he’d missed her: how much sleep he’d lost, and how devastated he’d been. He’d tell her about his dreams, and how her face kept him up at night, and about how she was the only thing he thought about when they were plummeting back to Earth. But he could wait for that – right now, he was just enjoying the feeling of her hand in his, and the view of her short hair, drifting across her face in the evening breeze. 

Later, he could tell Clarke Griffin how much he loved her. Later, he could apologise that he hadn’t realised until he was up in space, watching the Earth burn. Later, he could beg for her forgiveness and pray that she felt the same way. But right now…

Now, he was just thankful she was alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of those scenes that the writers would label "platonic" until we read the notes in the script that say something about Bellamy's undying love for Clarke - I love those scenes, where the subtext is EVERYTHING, so I thought I'd try my hand at writing one. Hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> Thank you all for reading!!! If you want me to keep writing these, or have some ideas for the reunion that you'd like me to write, please let me know. As you can see I already have a few, but it's not a comprehensive list. Come and say hello on  
> tumblr!


	3. I Won't Tell My Mother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Madi finds Bellamy first.

#  I Won't Tell My Mother

_While I powder my nose, he will powder his gums_  
And if I try to get close, he is already gone  
Don't know where he's going  
Don't know where he's been  
But he is restless at night, ‘cause he has horrible dreams 

_So, we lay in the dark, we've got nothing to say_  
Just the beating of hearts, like two drums in the grey  
I don't know what we're doing  
I don't know what we've done  
But the fire is coming  
So, I think we should run…  
**RUN – DAUGHTER**

“Bellamy?!” A shrill voice tore through the clearing and he flinched, ducking behind a tree instinctively as he looked for its origin. His hand was already on his gun, but when he found the source of the noise, it loosened slightly, and he stepped into her view.

There was a young girl, surely no older than eight, hovering behind a tree, her head the only thing sticking out. She had chocolate brown hair, and a sharp frown on her face, and there were faded cuts on her cheeks. She had wild eyes that darted around, continuously landing on his face and then switching to behind him, to his left, to his right. She was hyper-alert and ready for danger, and yet she had called out to him. Her fingers snuck around the trunk as she leaned closer, watching him watching her. 

“Bellamy?” She stared at him, wide-eyed.

“Hey,” he called out, uncertain, “are you… do I know you?”

“No,” the girl said noncommittally, moving out yet further, and now he could see the dried blood on her shirt, and the fresher cuts on her arms, bleeding black. She tilted her head, “but I know you.”

“Uh-huh,” he raised an eyebrow sceptically, “how’s that, kid?”

She moved hurriedly towards him, and his hand moved instinctively to his weapon again, but she was holding something out in her hands. He gripped the paper and she watched nervously, arms crossed, as he unfolded it. When he did, he felt as though the world were closing in on him. His own face stared back, sketched roughly in a familiar style, and underneath it, _‘Bellamy’_ was written in handwriting that he knew off by heart. He felt as though his throat was closing up, because he couldn’t breathe, and he leaned against the nearest tree for fear his legs would fail. 

“Where’d you get this?” He asked shakily. 

Madi uncrossed her arms and grabbed the drawing from his hands and flipped it over. On the other side, in that same handwriting, was written, _‘He will protect you’_.

“My mother gave it to me,” she said.

Bellamy looked up at her with a start, “ _your mother?_ ”

“Yeah, she drew it, and said that I had to keep it on me so I remembered what you look like in case you ever came back down to the ground. She said that as long as I had it with me, I could show you, and then you would help.”

She was alive? Clarke was alive? How was that possible, how could she possibly still be alive? It wasn’t possible, he had to be dreaming. Bellamy swallowed, the world shifting a little more into focus, and tried to get his breathing under control, “your _mother_ gave you this?”

“Yeah,” her face drew into a frown, and a sadness overtook her, “she found me, after Praimfaya. She took me in and told me stories all about her family. Raven the genius, and Monty the engineer, and her mother the healer; she told me stories about them all. You were her family: Bellamy, the brave king who would do anything to protect her. And you have a sister, called Octavia, who my mother says is a fierce warrior.”

“She is.” Bellamy smiled, proud.

“I’m Madi,” the girl said, and he handed her back the picture. She tucked it into her pocket and looked back up at him worriedly. 

“It’s nice to meet you Madi,” Bellamy said, kneeling down to her height, “do you know where your mother is now?”

“She’s running from the bad men,” Madi said.

“Bad men?”

“They arrived yesterday. They came down in a ship and started firing at us, so Clarke told me to run to one of our hideouts while she drew their fire. I’ve been hiding all morning, but I needed to find food, so I snuck out. I was on my way back and that’s when I found you.”

Hearing Clarke’s name confirmed his suspicions, but it did nothing to abate his anxiety. Bellamy felt his stomach constrict slightly and pinched the bridge of his nose; not only was Clarke alive, but she was in danger – perfect. 

“She said to stay in one place unless I heard the bad people coming, so she could find me again.”

“How long are you supposed to wait?” Bellamy shifted his weight from one foot to the other, already unwilling to wait for Clarke, desperate to find her. 

“Until sundown – if she isn’t here by then, it means she’s in trouble and I have to get as far away as possible to avoid being taken too.” Madi said, as if rattling off a shopping list rather than talking about being in mortal danger. 

Bellamy thought a moment, “Where’s your hideout?”

“It’s just over that ridge. There’s a cave next to one of the streams that’s almost impossible to see unless you know what to look for.” 

“Alright,” he straightened, adjusting his bag on his shoulder, “I’ll come wait with you.”

“Really?!” Madi brightened, beaming up at him.

“Yeah, that way if Clarke doesn’t show up, I can help you get to safety; you can come with me to my camp and they’ll take care of you while I find her.”

“She was right,” Madi looked at him in wonder, as if she hadn’t quite believed it, “you would do anything to protect her.”

“Of course I would, I love her,” Bellamy said without thinking, and then slammed his mouth shut. He stammered a little, speaking too quickly when he said, “She’s… she’s, y’know, family.”

Madi looked up at him with a wisdom beyond her years, “Don’t worry. I won’t tell my mother you said that.”

“Thanks kid,” he sighed, and started following her through the woods.

“Besides, there’s plenty of stuff she’s said about you that she made me promise never to repeat.” Madi said glibly.

He cleared his throat, but she just moved faster through the trees. They were nearing the stream, he could hear it, and Madi was speeding up the closer they got, excited to find safety again. He trudged behind her, mind whirring, trying to imagine the kinds of things Clarke would have made Madi promise not to tell him. He ran through negative comments, but he decided Clarke would have no qualms with him knowing his negative traits. He could say a lot about Clarke, but indirect was not something he could call her. Then he started running through other things – Clarke’s fears being one. She’d never talk about her feelings or worries, she just bore it, so perhaps she’d let slip things to Madi when she was talking about him.

“What… uh, what kinda _stuff_?” He finally asked, heart in his mouth.

They reached the mouth of the cave and Madi found her pack of stuff and sat down, ruffling through it. He sat down beside her and propped his elbows up on his knees, staying lookout, making sure if anyone came in, they would see him first, not Madi. 

“Just stuff,” Madi said, “She said there were some things that she was going to tell you herself.”

“Oh.”

“But I think she just missed you,” Madi leaned against him, snuggling into his side, “She missed you and she wanted to tell you herself.”

Within minutes, Madi was asleep, and Bellamy couldn’t help but wonder how comfortable she was around him. How much must Clarke have told her for this instant bond of truth? _Well_ , he supposed, _she’d had years_. 

The light in the sky began to fade, but he stayed alert, waiting for the moment he’d have to pack up and leave to protect the girl, waiting for the horrible realisation that Clarke was trapped somewhere.

But it never came. An hour passed, and the darkness had almost overtaken them, and he was sitting uncomfortably, but he didn’t want to move, because Madi was curled up against him. Something made a noise near the mouth of the cave, and he flinched, reaching for his gun. 

A familiar figure came into view, blonde hair almost glowing in the light of dusk, and his heart started racing so fast he thought he might have a heart attack. She stepped tentatively forward and he realised she couldn’t see into the dark cave. She was barely a few feet from him now, and he was struggling to breathe. 

“Madi?” She asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you like it! I've got two more of these to write, and then I have a soulmate AU that I'm working on, from a post that asroarke suggested on tumblr. So if that's something you're interested in, please let me know! xxx


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